How Grace City Church's Patriarchy Was Brought to Bear Against One Mother
From 'trad wife' to coming out as gay, Esther paid the price for living authentically – now she wants to salvage what she can with the time she has left
Note: The names of the subjects have been changed by request of the primary source in order to maintain her safety and privacy.
Esther McClain is dying, and between battling her ex-husband Chad and Chelan County Court Commissioner Tracy Brandt over custody of her children, she’s exhausted.
Esther has a rare disease and to survive she’ll need a double lung transplant. The likelihood she’ll get one isn’t high. Without one she said she’s expected to live between three and five years.
So she wants to spend as much quality time with her children as possible, but said Chad has used Grace City Church Pastor Josh McPherson’s brand of toxic masculinity to drive a wedge between them.
Before they divorced, she and Chad had been married for 17 years. Chad never liked it when she had a job, so when she got pregnant with their first son she gave up a career in education to become a stay-at-home mom and homeschool their children. Both Esther and Chad were raised in evangelical Christian households, and as a couple with young children they migrated between what Esther describes as “cultish” churches in the valley – including GCC.
They had two sons, Lucas and Hunter, and as the boys grew up the couple grew apart.
“I was your ‘trad wife.’ I stayed at home. I canned. I cooked. I did all the things. I homeschooled,” she said. But I wasn’t happy deep down. I was trying so hard to keep the marriage going and keep it together, and do all the things that the church really promotes.”
Esther said their relationship was “a transactional thing” for Chad. It was about constantly proving dominance.
“It was a power thing for him,” she said. “Because he was raised by a very chauvinistic father. And a mom that just bends over backwards for everyone.”
She said there were red flags early on, but she was so conditioned to believe that his behavior was normal that she overlooked them.
Over time Chad became enamored by mis and dis-information. He began unplugging from some relationships and seemed to be seeking more extreme ideologies, and company.
“He started doing a deep dive into conspiracy theories – like the Holocaust isn’t real,” she said.